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If God's compassion must be revealed through me, what happens when I have no more to give?
I just finished your book, "Finding Faith," and many parts I found helpful. One of the things that struck me closest to my heart was your description of how God...
...is revealed through our compassion towards others. I am an RN working in a Level One Trauma hospital, and while I admit my faith was shaky before I started working here, the experience has totally snuffed it out. I spend twelve hours a day, four days a week, giving compassion to complete strangers -- most of whom are injured beyond our ability to heal before they even make it to the door -- and I feel none of God's compassion being directed back toward me.
I am constantly bombarded with the realities of life, the atrocities that we humans inflict upon one another, and I can see no hope anywhere. I was "diagnosed" with compassion fatigue about the same time I bought your book. What I'm stuggling with is not the now-cliched "why do bad things happen to good people" but this: if God's compassion must be revealed through me, what happens when I have no more to give? Has God failed because I have failed? Where can hope be found in the midst of horror? Thank you for your time,
Answer: First of all, please know that I (and I’m sure, every reader as well) feel my heart go out to you when I read your story. I know that I have felt something very similar at times as a pastor – so much sadness, so much tragedy, so much evil. It truly is overwhelming. One of my mentors used to say something that was probably an overstatement, but it comes to mind as having an important grain of truth. “The promises of God are nothing,” he would say, “without the people of God.” What comes to my mind is this – anyone in work like yours needs people around her who understand, who support, who encourage, who serve those you serve by taking care of you as a caretaker.
My prayer is that at this time you will be able to find and reach out to some people who can share your burden and connect with you deeply; perhaps in them you will find God’s strength and renewal. One last thing – please remember that the reason you feel this terrible pain is because you are a sensitive person. If you weren’t, you could easily turn your work into “just a job” with no compassion at all. I hope that with the help of some good friends, you can feel support and find ways to share your pain with God, and feel not only God’s empathy for those you serve, but also God’s empathy for you.